I Need to End an Argument With My Wife: Does Having a Facebook Account and Being Addicted to It Ruin Marriages?
Question by Eccentric Dad: I need to end an argument with my wife: Does having a Facebook account and being addicted to it ruin marriages?
My wife and I are a relatively young couple. 10 years of marriage and she just turned 30 years old (I am 29). We have a 9 year old and a 5 year old. My wife works, I’m the at home parent because I am disabled. My wife works 9 to 5 but works an hour away from home so it’s more like 8 to 6. When she gets home, she eats dinner with us as a family, then she plays on Facebook from 7pm to 10pm or later. When she’s on the computer, you can’t interrupt her because she is “winding down from a hard day”. I told her that I’d rather she drank wine to “wind down” or locked herself in the room and had alone time; but she said this is what she enjoys doing to relax… At bed time, she rarely helps putting the kids to bed; but if she does, it’s so stressful that she has to get BACK onto the computer or play on her phone (which also has internet)… When she and I go to bed, she is SOOOO stimulated from all of the internet use (and the obsessing of what she’s missing while working – which isn’t much cuz her friends work too) that she needs a 1 hour backrub to “settle down” for bed… In the morning, she will get on the computer for an hour (after spending 3-4 hours the night before) and then she will be crabby that she has to get off and go to work… She has expressed that she would like to be home with the kids instead of me like it used to be; but when I was working (before I became disabled and lost my job) she couldn’t handle cleaning the house and doing responsible things like paying bills on time. I ran a log on the router to track traffic and she would clock 7 hours or more on the computer during my 12 hour shifts (most of it was on Facebook and other social networking sites)….. So what’s your thoughts, does having an internet based social life (primarily on Facebook and through texts but NOT on the phone or in person) cause a marriage/family to fail??? It’s clear to me that she has an internet addiction, but like most addicts, she refuses to see it as a problem and I’m just “being a baby” when I complain about her use. The kids are being neglected, I’m being neglected, and HER NEEDS are being neglected (she complains that there isn’t enough time to read, do crafts, see her friends, watch movies, or anything – obvious symptoms of an addiction that she can’t control)… I don’t want to come off as a controlling husband so I have NOT taken these matters in my own hands, but the family needs a mother/wife and not a teenager who can’t let go of her dreams of being popular…. Feel free to answer the question above, and/or offer me advice – please no smartass comments like “divorce her” or “see counseling” because I think this can be corrected without those venues…
@Andrea — She clicks peoples lame links and will spend hours on picture sites that people posted (like people of wallmart) and she does play games on there (Sims Social and CastleVille). But she is a part of a group of women who are equally addicted to the internet; so when one of them posts something online, it’s like a new topic was opened and she can watch the drama/gossip unfold…
Best answer:
Answer by KLR650
She sounds like an addict. And like all addictions it will rule her (and your) life if you let it. And it sounds like you’re letting it.
Give your answer to this question below!
CALVIN DRAKE MINISTRIES DRUG ADDICTION COUNSELING
Related Addiction Counseling Information…