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Question by LOSTTHEGAME!: Son in some sort of ‘counseling’ at his Jr High without my consent; can they do this???!!!?
I am very upset to learn that my son has been attending some sort of counseling program at his Jr High. His grades have been bad because he is very lazy and the teachers have just let him slide. He is very smart so it is not like he has a learning problem, just a doing problem. He told me a couple months ago that he was involved in this thing called ‘On Track’ for kids who are having trouble with school work. I was thinking that this was great; that they were finally trying to help him to get caught up/ get to business, academically.
13 year old boys are not very forthcoming but he has let little things slip here and there about some of the things they talk about in ‘On Track’. I started to get suspicious and questioned him and found out that this group meeting has him out of his English class every Tuesday- which he says is his main reason for wanting to go, naturally. I googled this place and they are a non-profit addiction recovery program that does “school based counseling and treatment services” and is apparently contracted by the school. I was never informed of this and never given a permission slip and no information about this program whatsoever!
I am shocked, appalled and very hurt that my son would be picked to attend something like this. I am not an alcoholic or drug addict! I have raised 2 other grown children who are contributing members of society. My son is probably one of the least likely to get involved in that sort of behavior. I work from my home so I can be there for him (and also keep close tabs). I am livid that they have decided to go over and above my parenting rights and particularly since it is definitely not helping him academically!
One other thing- one of On Track’s former counselors/former meth addict (He went through their program and then was hired by them) murdered his former girlfriend just this summer in our area. How did they meet? When she went through the On Track program and he was a counselor! That is so inappropriate and unprofessional and quite frankly, horrifies me.
Can a public school just do this? What actions can I take? Where can I turn? I really feel that we have somehow been labeled and my rights have been trampled on big time! All the school has to say is that they are sorry and they do not know how my son got into this program without a permission slip.
Any help is greatly appreciated.
I am totally 100% convinced he is not doing anything wrong in that respect. As I stated, I am here in the morning when he leaves and here when he comes home. There is no lag time for him to do anything. He is not allowed to run unattended with other kids- like to hang out at the mall. Most of the time I encourage his friends to come here. He is not allowed to go to other houses if I do not know the parents. He really is a good kid that I get compliments on all the time. When is the last time a 13 year old boy held a door for you or used ‘please & thank you’? Come on, you have to trust me on this- I do know my son very well. If he was in trouble I would be grateful for any and all help! That is just not the case.

Best answer:

Answer by Christine
Your first action is to calm down and talk very calmly to your son about this program and why he thinks he is on it. If he won’t talk about it – likely as he’s 13 – then make an appointment to see the Principal. You must be prepared for your son to have issues he has not discussed with you, and the counseling service may not tell you anything because of patient confidentiality. However, if you make it clear to the school that you want to support your son in any way possible, rather than blame them for not telling you, you will get more out of the interview. Storming into school is going to make matters much, much worse.

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